Bad Review Thread - Let's all point and laugh!

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Bad Review Thread - Let's all point and laugh!

Post by -Mazer on Tue Aug 05, 2014 5:30 pm

Here's one I found for Rookie of the Year:

This movie is for kids, but it lacks intelligence. Therefore it hovers down at a kid's level. Good family movies go above a kid's level so that the younger viewer may actually learn something, and the older viewer might possibly say "Hmmm, this is an intelligent kid's movie." Watching this kids learn how to cheat, show off, scream like an escaped retard, and be poor sports. Yeah it's a comedy, so the rules may be broken, but that doesn't account for the terrible acting and asinine writing.

I have enjoyed several kid's movies, so the excuse that "you didn't like it because you're an adult and this movie is made for kids" doesn't hold any water and therefore is eliminated as a legitimate reason. This movie is insulting to viewers with a functioning brain and an IQ over 50.

There are a lot of cameo appearances by some good actors in this in a failed attempt to "legitimize" the film. Even John Candy can't save it, and he hams it up as the home announcer with incredible mediocrity.

The worst performance in this mess is Daniel Stern's character, who overacts with such a vengeance (even worse than in Home Alone) that he makes Will Ferrell seem like a shy introvert. Screaming out some of the most unfunny lines in cinematic history, Stern brings the film down several notches. For those of you who actually liked Stern's character in this - you are a supreme bunch of ignorant idiots. Small wonder that he hasn't been called on to direct anything else after this garbage.

If you want to see a good baseball movie then try Major League, Bad News Bears (the original - NOT the stupid remake), Field of Dreams, A League of Their Own, or Bull Durham if you haven't already seen them. Rookie of the Year gets a 1 out of 10 from me. Without Stern I'd probably have given it a 4.

I like that he suggests parents take their kids to see movies like League of their Own or Field of Dreams, or even Major League - none of which are kids films.


Also here's another that cannot tolerate the silliness of the concept:

Just another nearly unwatchable kids fantasy film where they are the best. This one is about a kid who is not the best player in the world and he has an accident. This accident causes his arm to mess up and the tendons to tighten and now he can throw a 100 mph fastball. Well he displays this super ability at a Cubs game where he proceeds to throw a home run ball back into the field of play and before long he is signed with the Cubs giving inspirational speeches, striking out great players and guiding the Cubs to the post season. The Cubs were absolutely not a playoff team when this film was made and to make it out like one kid could turn around the team is completely insane even for movie standards.

_________________
avatar
-Mazer
Admin

Posts : 7912
Bounty : 41
Join date : 2011-09-01
Age : 34

View user profile http://wssf.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Bad Review Thread - Let's all point and laugh!

Post by ColumbianLoom on Tue Aug 05, 2014 6:08 pm

Mazer this is a good thread.

I'm going to go find some reviews that really made me, "LOL!"

One that comes to mind is the GT Skyward Sword review. They ripped apart the game and then they gave it a 9.1.

Like, wtf!?
avatar
ColumbianLoom

Posts : 1298
Bounty : 6
Join date : 2013-09-25
Age : 23
Location : Fort Collins, CO

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Bad Review Thread - Let's all point and laugh!

Post by -Mazer on Tue Aug 05, 2014 6:10 pm

LMAO! I just found another one for Rookie of the Year - this guy is upset that they say "Oh My God" instead of "Oh My Gosh".

As for kids, I found way too many "OMGs" in this film, both by the mother and the 12-year- old kid (played by Thomas Ian Nicholas). This was actor Daniel Stern's directorial debut and he promised publicly to make "safe family films." That's great, but this isn't a great start. "Oh my gosh," said by the kid would have but a better and smarter example to set to other kids than the other blasphemes. We also see early '90s Hollywood "fad" of having a mother literally punch out her boyfriend. That's "safe family fare?" I am tired of Hollywood's PC-feminist baloney of showing women acting tough like Mike Tyson. It just ain't so.


Last edited by -Mazer on Tue Aug 05, 2014 6:36 pm; edited 1 time in total

_________________
avatar
-Mazer
Admin

Posts : 7912
Bounty : 41
Join date : 2011-09-01
Age : 34

View user profile http://wssf.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Bad Review Thread - Let's all point and laugh!

Post by ColumbianLoom on Tue Aug 05, 2014 6:13 pm

See, I don't read movie reviews ever. Mainly just game reviews and some anime reviews (maybe).

I'm not very good judge when it comes to reviewing movies, like at all. And I don't know any good movie reviewers out there. I just skim Metacritic and that's about it.
avatar
ColumbianLoom

Posts : 1298
Bounty : 6
Join date : 2013-09-25
Age : 23
Location : Fort Collins, CO

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Bad Review Thread - Let's all point and laugh!

Post by -Mazer on Tue Aug 05, 2014 6:39 pm

ColumbianLoom wrote:See, I don't read movie reviews ever. Mainly just game reviews and some anime reviews (maybe).

I'm not very good judge when it comes to reviewing movies, like at all. And I don't know any good movie reviewers out there. I just skim Metacritic and that's about it.

I glance through them usually after seeing a movie. Just to get a consensus or curious to other opinions. Some are average but then you get these fanatics who just trash something for the sake of hating it. These are the movie hipsters who believe if the movie is not a masterpiece in writing, it was made for the brain-dead audiences.

Usually summer block buster films or action films are hated because "They show the downfall of hollywood"

Basically they treat these movies like gamers treat C.O.D.

_________________
avatar
-Mazer
Admin

Posts : 7912
Bounty : 41
Join date : 2011-09-01
Age : 34

View user profile http://wssf.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Bad Review Thread - Let's all point and laugh!

Post by ColumbianLoom on Wed Aug 06, 2014 12:49 am

-Mazer wrote:
ColumbianLoom wrote:See, I don't read movie reviews ever. Mainly just game reviews and some anime reviews (maybe).

I'm not very good judge when it comes to reviewing movies, like at all. And I don't know any good movie reviewers out there. I just skim Metacritic and that's about it.

I glance through them usually after seeing a movie. Just to get a consensus or curious to other opinions. Some are average but then you get these fanatics who just trash something for the sake of hating it. These are the movie hipsters who believe if the movie is not a masterpiece in writing, it was made for the brain-dead audiences.

Usually summer block buster films or action films are hated because "They show the downfall of hollywood"

Basically they treat these movies like gamers treat C.O.D.

Awww I see. That's good, I just don't know where to find any good sites that give good and fair reviews. You know any?

And well I like blockbusters/action films so I'm guess I'm the blind CoD gamer of movies.... Oh well. I know a lot of them are mindless fun, but they can still be a lot of fun to watch and it doesn't hinder my enjoyment at all really.
avatar
ColumbianLoom

Posts : 1298
Bounty : 6
Join date : 2013-09-25
Age : 23
Location : Fort Collins, CO

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Bad Review Thread - Let's all point and laugh!

Post by -Mazer on Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:57 am

I enjoy mindless fun as long as they don't insult my intelligence.

Movie that did not: Expendables

Movie that did: Transformers 2. The racial robots, the idiotic parent characters, the balls swinging around....that was insulting to my intelligence right there.


Know what sites have good reviews? At least when it finally is released on DVD? Amazon. Amazon has the best movie reviews I've ever seen. Most fair.

IMDB is the absolute worst.

_________________
avatar
-Mazer
Admin

Posts : 7912
Bounty : 41
Join date : 2011-09-01
Age : 34

View user profile http://wssf.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Bad Review Thread - Let's all point and laugh!

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum